Ask the Greek God of Style (Vol. 27): Quarantine Fashion
Andy Ingram
Q: Dear Greek God of Style, I got a little light-headed and then very sick and the next thing I know I'm in quarantine. What should I be wearing when I don’t have anyone to impress unless I open up the windows and hope one of my neighbors see me?
Sven London neither from London nor Sweden
A: Dear swarthy Sven,
You will be happy to know that I have remained healthy over these past many months of social distancing and stay-at-home requirements. I’m sorry you did not heed said requirements and find yourself in your current predicament. Now is the time to remain vigilant in your personal presentation!
Illness and quarantine offers no reason to abandon the basics of self care. I suspect you have the desire to backslide and laze about in your grubby, stained-sweat trousers and Disneyland Paris t-shirt that has functioned as both napkin and navel cleaner.
Let’s be honest. I strongly encourage you to fight these plebeian urges and will do so by suggesting a few options.
It is acceptable to pivot your daily wear to a more comfort-oriented approach. Acceptable would be an Adidas Trefoil Tracksuit with the classic low-cut collar detail. Preferably smooth blue, of which I may have heard you have acquired but not displayed yet. Black, white, or red would also be acceptable. Pair this with acceptable trainers and fancy socks for a complete "ready for action" look.
A commando presentation, both top and bottom, is your only deployment option.
Your other fashion-forward option would be that of a tapered-leg, zip-front, coverall. This choice affords the opportunity to look chic with multiple zipper exposure lengths that can be perfect for the random voyeur.
Mid-chest is a good morning option that suggests you may be ready for action but would do so in a casual manner. Taking it to the next level, the full unzip to the pubis suggests afternoon action is highly probable. A further expression, only available to the coverall wearer, would be to pull the top down and tie the arms 'round your waist, revealing your full ruggedness- especially during times of weight training in the window as one does. This pairs well with a leather boot that is already a pre-requisite for the season.
Know that I will have my network of compatriots checking on your progress. Infractions will result in excommunication from this community.