Ask the Greek God of Style (Vol. 24): Merciful or Vengeful?
Andy Ingram
Q: Dear Greek God of Style,
My life has changed since I found your blog. I need to know though, are you a merciful God or a vengeful God? And with such a vast and all-encompassing fashion sense, I just want to ask you question after question. So how much are you wanting to influence my style choices? How much fashion advice are you wanting to give? Should I consult you daily on my outfit options, like if it’s a bad choice to wear underwear that doesn’t match my socks? Or do you just want to be involved in the big decisions, like for weddings and graduations and office parties? I just need to know how much you want to be involved in my life.
Immanuel from Kaliningrad
A: Oh Dear, in someways I suppose you think I should be flattered by you- praising me as a god, confidant, personal whatever to you. But alas, I don't care what your needs are! I don't find satisfaction in your happiness nor am I even connected to it or you. Being involved in your daily life is not even possible within the realm of which I exist so I don't really even understand the question.
Though the "Fashion Force" is indeed a real force that can traverse Epochs and space-time manifolds to eventually exert itself upon you and through you. There is a fine fashion line that you walk between utter destruction and perfect balance as if orbiting at the edge of black hole event horizon. This Fashion Force is one that moves through you when you reach out with your feelings.
It leads you! Don't fight it!
You are now like a fish swimming in a stream orthogonal to its flow. Reach out with your fashion feelings and allow the Force of the flow to gently turn you into a parallel position of balance and harmony. The Force exists because I exist. Exhale!
And that first bit of Fashion Force exerting on you is to correct the fallacy of your matching underwear and socks. The fact that you're considering wearing both of the constraining undergarments of which you speak, bellows anthems of misunderstanding and misguided Philistine choices.
Do this. Close your eyes . . . concentrate on your breath . . . reach out in fashion faith. As the Force starts to guide you, let it move you and move with you and move through you. Interpret what it is saying and find balance by removing unwanted restrictive garments and loosening buttons to realistic and socially acceptable levels.
Follow and you will someday find yourself clothed in nothing but flowing white linen.
Exhale.
Feel the wind leaving your body.
Go in peace, not in fleece!
SPONSOR MESSAGE: Did you know that the Greek God of Style writes songs? Get the debut of Lost Friend now in the Poptek Shop.