Ask the Greek God of Style (Special Labor Day edition)

Q: Dear Greek God of Style, According to traditional fashion rules, Labor Day is the last day to wear white. All your fans know that you go by your own set of rules, especially concerning the wearing of white. So what do I do? I'm so confused. What are the Gigi Fashion Rules exactly?

A: I feel I answered this question sufficiently last year my friend. If you haven't worked on your tan this summer, then most likely this will be the last day of white for you. I, of course, will wear white all year and provide glorious contrast throughout the winter.

Now to the bigger issue, the thin-white see-thru pants the middle-aged set is wearing. You know what I speak of. This look is typically coupled with flip flops (see my previous posts with regard to footwear). There's possibly a toe ring. You catch yourself seeing what you don't want to see, ham and a G-string pressed into a tight cotton casing. And be careful not to pierce that casing lest the contents burst forth in a cavalcade of jiggle. I cannot bear another Midwestern backward-fashion summer. Please use this holiday to rid yourself of these fashion foul temptations and just wear black to mourn your poor decisions. Happy Labor Day!